This is Jana.
A few weeks ago when we were enjoying our family vacation in
Zanzibar, I had some thoughts that I thought worthy of a short blog post. Now
that I have found opportunity, I will form these thoughts into writing, for
what they’re worth.
My thoughts, in summary, were something like this: “God is
so amazing to take a completely unadventurous person (like myself) and let me
experience so many wonderful things in life that I, of my own volition,
wouldn’t.”
This thought struck me again as I got into a small dugout
sailboat with Dan to go snorkeling one afternoon. As I sat in the boat
overlooking the aquas and bright blues of the ocean and the fascinating
construction and operation of the boat we were riding in, I thought, “How did I
get here? And WHY am I going snorkeling in the Indian Ocean? I’ve never even wanted to go snorkeling. Even if I were
here on a vacation, I wouldn’t have the initiative to plan this….”. And, of
course, on the ride home all I could think about was the WONDER of what Dan and
I had just done together—getting to see an entire vast world of God’s creation
that many people never see. I even silently prayed for more opportunities to go
snorkeling again!
I have always admired friends that crave adventure and don’t
let a single boring day pass by. While appreciating people like this, though, I
realize that there is nothing necessarily more spiritual about being proactive
vs. passive, or adventurous vs. content with routine and quiet occupations. So
far, my conclusions have led me to believe that God has simply made us all
unique and for unique purposes to bring glory to Him, and He would rather we
not be preoccupied excessively with wanting to be somebody different than we
are.
The last two years have brought some unique challenges, and
often I have felt like I am not capable of handling them or that I would even
think to choose them. Deputation with a one and two year-old was one of them. Sleeping
in a new place every night, meeting and talking for hours with new people,
being asked to spontaneously speak or be questioned in front of groups. All of
them I would not have chosen from a list of multiple options.
Then I was to get rid of or store all our belongings to head
off to a foreign country. Again, something that I would have thought out of my
league. Now, I have taken on the task of randomly walking around our village
looking for people to laugh at me while I try to learn their language. Not
something that would typically fit my mold.
That said, it would be easy for a person like me to think
that missions, or for that matter marrying a man like my husband (where with
him, new, strange, scary, exciting, or exotic experiences are always around the
corner), was not a good career/life choice. Nonetheless, I have seen God take a
completely unlikely-for-the-task kind of person (myself) and teach me and
change me in many ways, and also allow me to experience so many joys through it. It is in moments like
the above mentioned that I stop and recount the undeserved favor (namely, GRACE)
of my loving God.
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